If Anita Bryant is right and a day without orange juice is like a day without sunshine, then an Apple Days without apples is like a cold, windy day in October without sunshine. It wasn’t really all that bad—it could have rained. Blame it on an off year for the apple trees, plus a long rainy spring that was lousy for pollination, but apples were hard to find. Despite a concerted community effort to comb every pock-faced apple off of every tree, there was barely a bushel to show for it. Still, in typical Marlboro fashion the students did not let it get them down, and they pressed that bushel of apples into the most delicious looking quart of cider this side of Route 9. There was also music, dancing, donuts hanging on strings, hacky-sack and shoulder rubs all around for those who love to be outside in the cold and wonder where the apples are.
Of course the highlight of every Apple Days, except for those unfortunate enough to participate, is the apple-pie eating contest. Six teams of two paired up across the table from each other, and after much animated discussion all agreed not to use their hands. What followed is so disgusting I really can’t relate it without taking some Dramamine first, but needless to say it got a little messy. Several contestants passed entire apple slices through their noses, and in the end I swear junior Georgio Tsangaris still had half a pie in his cheeks. In the pan-licking finale, two teams came in at a draw, freshmen Ned White and Noah Cook, known as “the devourers,” and juniors Devin Willmott and Devin Green, known as “the Devins.” In the best Marlboro democratic tradition the rightful winners were put to a voice vote, but that still sounded like a tie (there was no movement for an Australian ballot) so the four pie-smeared victors shared the coveted prize, a purportedly solid gold apple.